Programmers are software developers…
The very first thing anyone thinks of when they hear the word programmer is computers. That is unless you are a programmer and then you will actually think about what language that the mentioned programmer is referring to. That will then distill down to whether that particular programmer reading about programmers believes that the language in question is of the elite few, of which the reading programmer is of course qualified in, being mentioned in a positive or negative light. Similar to how Mac users often consider their PC of far more quality even though the underlying hardware is often times far less superior than what is available to PC users and really comes down to simple OS wars.
Anyway, programmers are first and foremost computer programming individuals. Our numbers are great, our ranks are filling, the technology capabilities are increasing, and our platforms are constantly evolving. If you consider that species evolve and adapt we programmers are at the top of the evolutionary charts for our species. Any one programmer can attest that every three to five years a new language or technology will be introduced resulting in programmers constantly adapting or evolving into the new language or programming paradigm. You may even consider that one day programmers may branch from the human species to form a new superior class. Hopefully god is using Subversion so that if for some reason we have to we can eventually merge back, but for now we’ll just go with branching to a new project.
Programmers are psychologists…
The art of programming requires that as a programmer we know our users. We have to know our users actions better than the user themselves know their actions. We have to know what they will do, how many times they’ll do it, and what they first will expect to happen when and if they actually do what we think they’re going do to. We have to get inside the users heads, we have to give them subtle, but often forceful reminders of error when the user goes against the plan.
Programmers need to know the wants/wishes/and desires of our users. We become so attuned to what our users will do that eventually we can come to understand the very nature of our users as a whole. We can generalize the very complex behaviors of all individuals regardless of race, age, or location down to a very simplistic art of behavior modification through user interface development. We can provide the mechanisms for which the rats follow the maze to the cheese that we’ve hidden within the program.
In the end programmers not politicians, not generals, and not even nature itself will have more of an impact on a persons life more so than a programmer. I would even dare say that we programmers will even lose sight of human behavior and begin to think so abstractly that when watching television any story relating to a woman, who is being abused, refuses to leave the abuser we’ll simply attribute the erratic self deprecating behavior to being the result of an infinite loop or bad goto statement buried within this woman's subconscious programming. That is how a programmer sees life.
Programmers are fortune tellers…
Never before in human history has man had less involvement in military conflict, or even in manufacturing materials than right now. Robotics has been the way that programmers have branched from the virtual and entered into the physical bringing with it the creation of a new way of doing things. No longer constrained to weak flesh programmers have provided a replacement to the toils of man through our cold steel creations. With it programmers are now seeing the future when man, not computers, become obsolete. When the age of reason no longer applies to human thought, but to the birth of a new sentient being not made of flesh. Just so we’re clear I’d assume they’ll probably be made of composite materials that could closely resemble flesh, or if you want to take the Terminator outlook on artificial intelligence embodiment you could go that way.
Programmers can see this future so much so that many programmers are actively working to bring about a time when humans no longer have to be concerned with any of our forefathers dilemmas. We see the future when all things are automated. We see factories devoid of life but bustling with activity. We see the fields full of crops, but devoid of all farmers. The machines will provide for us, but we can also see the future of what will become of the men and women who once were needed.
So what becomes of those who are no longer needed. Will a new age of exploration and higher learning begin? Programmers often spend nights wondering about the impacts our craft has upon others. We know that at some point we will have blood on our keys. Unlike computers humans do not accept becoming obsolete so easily. Recycling computers is a far easier process compared to recycling a humans skills when they’ve become complacent carrying on in the same outdated occupation for years and years. Instead they bemoan the system, call for an ending the the ways of the programmer, and will join together in unions to wage war against the system that we’ve designed. In the end programmers will not stop. We’ve come to far, again we’re far more evolved than these obsolete people, and we have to continue forward because we can see the future. It is beautiful to our eyes.
Programmers are misunderstood…
Today i can’t think of another career where so many of us do so many amazing things for the world, but yet no one outside our realm seems to see it. Typically when informing a friend or during an introduction to someone new we often introduce ourselves as a programmer. The person receiving our introduction often responds in several ways demonstrating the general misunderstanding. Often the introduction ends with the person instantly admitting they know little to nothing about computers.
If the person being greeted IS involved with computers in some way the greeting quickly snowballs into a battle of superiority. Often the course turns to not what you do, but where you do it. First comes the “do i know your company” questions that take the shape of “where do you work?” If neither admits they know of the companies introduced next comes the “am I friends with someone superior to you”, or the “I’m better than you by proxy” question. The proxy question usually takes the shape of “Oh, yah, do you know <blank> they work in the same field.” I call that the six degrees of superiority. You’re either six degrees above or six degrees below the person you’re meeting.
The long and the short of it is that programmers are best known for sitting in front of computers. Programmers understand the astonishing things that can be accomplished given hours of time as input. Programmers are often assumed to be proficient at both fixing computers, network troubleshooting, and phone tech support. Family and friends will turn to us in their time of need, always in the worst times for us, and will expect an immediate explanation in a series of commands they can understand to resolve the problem. If only it were that easy, or the user on the other end of the phone knew what menu button we were referring to. In a time when people think an internet browser is Google or the little italic e is the internet we’re still subjugated to helping the primordial goop that we’ve evolved from to continue on their way to the resolving their computer related issues. At least until we evolve technology to the point where in the Matrix movie we can download information into the human brain we’ll be stuck in this assumed role as fix-it person for our friends and family.
I suppose in the end we are still after all magicians. Computers have a power that is both amazing and at the same time horrifying. To others we’re performing small miracles while to other programmers we see simple hat tricks.
Offbeat